if you know the true pain of having your heart absolutley broken.
if you know the feeling of blood racing down your wrists after you cut yourself.
if you know how depressed you have to be to overdose the worst pills in theworld.
if you know what its like, to starve yourself half to death.
if you have ever cried yourself to sleep for countless nights.
if you’ve ever truly loved someone, then had them leave.
if theres that one memory, that you see every time you close your eyes.
if you remember that one day, that ruined your life forever.
if you’ve ever felt so alone that you just feel like you’re not even real.
if you have ever been so numb you can’t even say anything for weeks.
if theres been that one moment where you knew you can’t be happy.
then you know what its like to be me.
adhd.
well few months ago - exam period, as i was wandering off my study i looked up adult ADHD syptoms and well seems like i have all or most (i don’t remember) of them. I looked it up cause i was having trouble studying, concentrating and getting information up inside my brain.I texted my friend and told him i will go get it checkout.However i forgot for what reason i didn’t and slowly i forgot about it. And now it’s exam time again - yet again i’m having a hard time study wandering off looking up ADHD information. i swear i’m gonna go get it check up this time i will. Right now i kinda hope that i do have ADHD, maybe i’ll get some little pills help me concentrate……
I think when people say things like “you don’t need to be perfect to be loved, just be yourself.” ——- that’s bullshit. I want to be perfect i want to be great in everyone’s eyes because this is how society is isn’t it. If you are ugly,fat,slutty,strange people judge you. That’s how it is, we all do it. No matter how hard you try to control your thoughts they will still be there. That’s why i want to be perfect, perfect so i won’t be judged…. As harsh.
failure.
Sometimes I feel so lost I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about how my life would turn out considering my current situation…. Low GPA – can’t get into a program. Then i’ll panic , stress and fall back asleep. I want change. I don’t want to live my life like this anymore – but I don’t know how… I don’t know. It seems like this is becoming a never ending cycle stress – normal – stress – normal – stress. I’m tired.
There’s not much time left.
